You dont care.
You dont care I have friends here, do you?
Of course not.
You dont know anything about my online life.
You dont know about the friends Ive made.
And if you do, you dont know how close we get.
You never will.
You dont care about this place.
You dont care about my blog.
You dont care about dA.
You dont care about RES.
You dont care.
You never think about how I feel about everything.
You never ask why I stay on past when I should.
You dont realize why I do.
You never have.
You dont care about my charas.
Or my drawings.
Everything I do, you get mad at me for at some point.
Ive been yelled at for drawing.
Listening to music.
Its just not fair.
You dont know who these people are.
As far as youre concerned, they could be lying to me.
Or they could be robots.
Or someone trying to get info out of me.
Once you meet these people, theres something about them that says theyre telling the truth.
You think me sneaking online is bad?
I could be doing worse, you know.
I could be out somewhere stealing something, or I could be a killer.
Would you rather that?
I cant show my emotions to you.
Youd say something about it to make it seem so stupid, when it really isnt.
Trying to explain why Im depressed, angry, happy..
When I told you that time, about that..
You asked me about it, and said it in such a way it seemed less special.
Dad wont shut up about it.
He says it was really bad.
I want to smash something so bad right now.
He never seems to care.
And before I could finish and tell him that it wasnt just learning the lyrics in English, he cut me off and asked me if that was why I was online last night.
They werent even remotely related.
He used to yell at me a lot for being on my DS past four thirty, too..
The only reason I was allowed to register is because I begged him.
Even then he only agreed so I could access my data on the new flipnote coming out. Yesterday, I asked him how long he was gonna be at my grandparents so I could gage how much youtube access I had.
He told me not to get into anything I wasnt supposed to
He thinks I dont know that.
I dont do that stuff on youtube
Its like he expected me to get into some sort of extreme video I shouldnt be watching or something.
There are two files that I need to delete, and a few words that need to be taken out of the dictionary.
If those two files get seen, Ill get questions, and I wont want to answer.
I flipping uit.
I lose the computer for a day?
Oh my god. Just no.
I want to keep this updated.
Ill have to give Kayla access or something.
I flipping have a headache.
I cant tell them, theyll start ranting on me being online again!
They dont realize Ive been up to one AM online before, and that this headache has nothing to do with it.
Oh my god. Just shut up about it already.
The way today is going, Im not gonna get that paper signed..
/sad rage cry
Danggit.. I really want to go..
But yeah.. If one of these days theres a lot less text faces or theyre written differently, then its probably Kayla updating for me..
Dang.. I have to go. ;=;